Hi.

I don't have a lot going on right now.
I'm supposed to be cleaning my room or the living room, but I just babysat a very very peppy two-year old and I'm tired. My mom is watching one TV and my dad is watching the other and no one is online and I have nothing to read except summer reading. So, I'll update. I don't remember a lot, so I'll just give highlights.

My last REAL update was Shane's birthday. I was complaining that no one was talking to me. Well, I took Ray's advice and I talked to Ray and I talked to Shane (who told me he liked not being friends) and I just talked to a bunch of people I don't normally talk to and it was nice. I got my friends back. That weekend, the weekend of the prom, Melinda and I went to the beach with my mom. We went shopping and sat on the beach. My mom was saying the most ridiculous things, like she couldn't believe we would embarrass ourselves by calling Steve after the prom to see if he had a good time, or she didn't think I should buy shoes with a broken heart on them because, well, people might talk. Um, the next week was the spring concert, but I was only in select chorus. So, I sang the select songs and then sat with Erin and Steve in the audience. The next day we went tree planting around the school. We named our trees. One tree we were trying to dig a hole but there was already an old tree root there so this truck dug it out, it was huge. Then we rode around in the back of a pick-up truck, which I always wanted to do, and put top soil on everything. that was pretty much April.

In May, me Steve Erin and Andrew went to see Spiderman 3. It was okay. I really just went to see it to see Venom, aka Topher Grace, aka my future husband. I love him. The next day I had SATs, which you already know I did fabulously on. Uh, May 9 was the AP Calc Test. I won't get my scores until July. I don't know how well I did. I'm too fidgety and I was distracting myself. I think I did okay. That night was the select recital. Crosby was there. I sang "I Don't Know How To Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar and played it on the piano. Everyone really liked it. I liked Adam the best. He played guitar. <3 Um .. that Monday was the AP Physics Test. But who really cares about Physics? We all suck anyway. I didn't answer very many open ended. I do think I did well on the multiple choice though. We'll see. Um .. we started to have parties in AP Seminar since we were done our AP tests. We played Guitar Hero and ate cupcakes and such. May 17 were the ITS inductions. I inducted Jimmy Kimsey. He's one of my favorite people ever. The next day was our physics trip to Dorney Park. My group was me, Erin, and then the boys. Meaning I couldn't not go on roller coasters. So, I went on three!!!!! I was so scared. But Erin cursed the entire ride, so I had fun. We'll see how I hold up on roller coasters when I don't have Erin next to me making me laugh the whole time. Also, the park lost power for a bit. Glad I wasn't on a coaster. I sat with Shane. Somewhere in there he apologized for wanting to not be friends anymore. I think he just missed me. We've been friends for a while. Alex said not to believe him, that he wouldn't stay my friend for long, but he has. I love Shane. Um ... they didn't like us playing Guitar Hero in Seminar so they told us we didn't have to start school until 8:30, which Crosby changed to 8:15. Cool right? Except I had to walk to school and people give you dirty looks if you are heading to school at 8 o'clock. Select Chorus went on a trip and ate at IHop. I love those Select Chorus people. I made Select again for next year, but I didn't get to be a #$%&@ chours officer. I already told you about my kidnapping. The next night I had my grandfather's birthday party, and Iris Melinda Erin and Steve came to kidnap me. But this time I went. We hung out with Iris's brother's friend and played Hide and Seek. I like his friends. My brother got confirmed. I got to hang out with my cousins, who are hilarious. Memorial Day me Erin Steve and Melinda went to a service in Ridley Park for our cultural credit. This guy was talking about his experience in World War 2. That was pretty cool. Um .. on Steve's birthday I got a cavity drilled? The dentist kept lying, saying we were done and then drilling some more. And it wasn't even a cavity. It was like, a place where a cavity might form soon. They also told me to keep an eye on my wisdom teeth because if they come in I'll need surgery. Not something I wanna hear.

June! Me Erin Melinda and Steve watched the Truman Show in Erin's basement. We haven't had many movie nights lately. Uh .. I took my spanish final. Got a 95. Did my calc presentation on Electrical Engineering. 97. The last day of school me Iris Shane and Shannon performed our Amex Project. We didn't have time to make a video so we did it live. Our book was Inherit the Wind, and we did a remake of "Cupid's Chokehold", Jesus' Chokehold. Mr. Lawrence really enjoyed it. Especially when I sang "Everywhere I go I keep a Bible in my pocket like WHAT!!!" He laughed. He even signed my yearbook, Mr. Lawrence LIKE WHAT. lol. His signature was nice. Saying how cool I am and I'm too good for high school boys and what not. <3 Um, after school me Melinda Iris and Erin got some food and sat under the trees in front of the Township Library and just hung out. Met a creepy guy who talked about smoking a funny cigarette and waking up not knowing where the hell he was, and who had a pair of little girls underwear sticking out of his back pocket. Friday morning I had my Amex Final, and then I met Melinda and we went job hunting. We asked at 14 places and applied at 4. No one has gotten back to us yet, though. Sunday was Meredith's graduation party. It was ok once Shannon got there. And I talked to Ray a little bit. And caught up with TJ. And then I met Stefan and we talked for a while and had a good conversation. He was very tall. Monday morning I walked up to the high school to hand in my letter for Monty (I had an assignment for next year due this year, sheesh) and met Melinda and Steve. We walked to Melinda's house and made waffles from scratch and watched the Newsies. Tuesday Melinda and I went shopping. Wednesday Melinda came over for a little and watched me clean my room. Um .. Friday was my piano recital. It went okay. My song was the longest. I got some awards. Basically, piano recitals are boring. This past weekend I went to the beach and got sunburned and blonder. Sunday night I had to go over my neighbor's house and play guitar hero in my pajamas and glasses and no makeup for all of his friends and my brothers friends, some of whom are my age. They were extremely impressed. And yesterday Melinda and I went to my dad and Mr. Nevin's softball game and then hung out at Iris's house with Steve O'Neill, Andrew, and Shane. Today, I babysat. The kid doesn't say much but he has entire episodes of Spongebob memorized. It's amusing. Tomorrow, Melinda and I are going to visit Mrs. Roessing and Thursday we are gunna visit some colleges. I really have to get on that college search. I have the least summer reading of all my friends, though. And my brother. Who I think has a girlfriend. He's been real sneaky lately.

That's about it. Not real exciting. But yeah. So, I did it everyone. I updated. woo.
Now I need something else to do so no one makes me clean. Maybe I'll get a shower and go to bed.

Adios.

Currently, you are probably asking yourself "why is Lauren updating her xanga at 2AM on a school night (school morning?) when she hasn't bothered to update since about 2nd grade previous to this?" And I will answer this very good question in the following entry. And I will do a real good "catch up" entry this weekend, probably Sunday, or tomorrow if I don't end up doing anything. Although I hope I can. But I'm technically not allowed if my room's not clean. But hell, I have 4 and half hours to kill before I have to start getting ready for school.

"But Lauren, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO BED LIKE A NORMAL PERSON"

Let me explain.

So, I went to bed at like 11. I slept like 8 hours last night so I'm not particularly tired. I decide to read some more of "Anatomy of a Boyfriend" (No, it's not a nonfiction book) because it was just a really cute romance novel, something I haven't read for a while. The beginning of the relationship is like, perfect. The kind of beginning of a relationship that I would give my left arm for. Maybe my left leg. I need my hands like ... <insert good metaphor here>. The guy never had a girlfriend before, but he's cute and smart and tall and skinny and really shy and quiet and he's on the track team (Brian Gander???? lol) and the girl has a horrible name but I forgive her. And it's perfect. And so they are starting to get really into each other, and I was only gonna read one chapter, but they were like, about to have sex and then they didn't, so being a teenager, I was like, oh, I'll just read until they do. Because I'm all hormonal like that. But like the sentence after they do, they started to like fight a little bit. And then they were going to college and didn't see each other much and it was all going downhill and I can't fall asleep unless everything is going well, and I'm like, I'm sure things will get better soon. So THEN after being very frustrated for a crapload of chapters, the boy, who was no longer cute but instead was a stupid scumbag, was like "I don't know exactly when it started happening, but I've been feeling different lately. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I'm really sorry. I guess I don't love you anymore in the way I used to, but you still mean a lot to me. I don't want us to stop being friends." WELL, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. I stopped reading, because well, I don't need to read anymore. I FUCKING LIVED IT. I'm sure they'll get together in the end, because it's fiction, but I don't even want them to anymore. He's just stupid. OH MY FUCKING GOD I JUST REALIZED THAT THEIR CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE THE DAY BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY WHICH WOULD MAKE IT DECEMBER 20TH. WHAT THE FUCK. anyway, so I throw the book and prepare to fall asleep pissed when i felt something tickle my arm. it was a humongous fucking millipede. so, being a girl, i squealed and flicked it and tried to fall asleep. BUT THEN i realized i don't know how far I flicked it and am assuming the odds of it coming back and crawling into my mouth or nose or ear or worse are pretty high, so i peaked into my brothers room to tell him he was being too loud (why he was cleaning his room at 1:55 I don't know. I guess he wants something) and then came downstairs. I have no interest in returning to my bedroom until the sun rises and I don't really wanna sleep down here either because that's where i saw the bug the first time. i'm not really tired anymore anyway. i'm just feeling all buggy. i'm just mad at ray again, lol. AND THE STUPID BOY IN THE STUPID BOOK. STUPID BOYS!!!! Speaking of Ray, I told meredith i would go to her graduation party and shannon, tj, and ray said they would probably be there too, and she was like "is it ok if Ray is there or do you want me to tell him not to come". And i realized she's the first person to ask me that. no one else really cared if ray and i were in the same place, least of all ray. i told meredith i still talk to him on occasion and he still thinks we are friends, and it was too much of a hassle to ignore him because he didn't get it. he doesn't get it. he probably never will, and it just wasn't worth my time to try to get him to. so i just deal. i do really want him to sign my yearbook. i just want to see what he'll say. will he realize how perfect August through December were? does he even remember or care? how we hung out all the time and were really close and really cute and my family loved him and his family seemed extremely fond of me and everyone assumed we were dating or were just waiting around for it? will he say anything about how he broke my heart and broke up our friendships and completely changed the course of my life and completely changed me? or will he just say "it's been fun. have a good summer". I doubt he'll see this before I force him to sign tomorrow, but if for some really weird reason he does, don't change what you were gunna write because of what i say here. just write what you were originally gunna write. oh, who am i kidding he doesn't read this. i don't even think about him that much anymore. but i mean, he's the only person i've ever met (and i mean boy when i say person) that i could have ever even seen myself, like really seen myself, going out with. and we were so good together it was like we were made to find each other and be friends or more forever.  but, whatever. can you tell it's 2:30? i would never put all this stuff out for the public eye at like 5 int he afternoon when i was thinking rationally. there is a mosquito on my computer screen. it's quite distracting. there is a millipede in my room. i think i'll go do something constructive now. i'm just lucky it's friday.

EDIT::
It's 3:15.
I just finished the book.
They actually didn't get back together at the end.
Which kinda made me sad.
Her immediate reaction sounded familiar.
Well, she was like, violently upset for about three weeks longer than myself.
Although in all fairness he wasn't my boyfriend.

"In all fairness he's not a bad person, and we had some good times. He wanted to stay friends, but it'll be a while before I'm ready for that, if ever"

Maybe I'll work on my physics project.


EDIT TAKE TWO:::

hey, it's me again. it's 3:45 now. i was going through documents to find my cultural credit. and i found the first conversation that ray and i had online after "the shit hit the fan" AND IT MIRRORS THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN DOMINIQUE (bad name, right?) AND WES IN THE FREAKIEST WAY. this is making my stomach hurt like it hasn't since about february. i really need to stop. i've moved past all this. BUT IT'S SO WEIRD!!

ok? Wes's screename in the book is NYUTrackie. Creative Dom's is her name, DominiqueBaylor. Ready for some comparisons? I am doing nothing but copying verbatum here, i promise.

NYUTrackie: I didn't mean for any of this to happen, Dom. I'm really sorry.
VillainousNinja:  i didn't mean for any of this to happen. i mean it when i say i'm really sorry

NYUTrackie: I don't want us to stop being friends.
VillainousNinja: i hope that we can remain friends after this

NYUTrackie: I guess I should have handled things differently.
VillainousNinja: i would never purposely do that to someone i care for deeply

And the lovely DominiqueBaylor and emocionalita1125 responded with many capital letters and curse words.

I'm not even upset anymore. It's the kind of stab-at-the-heart irony that makes you laugh, especially if you have been awake for 23 hours and plan to be awake for another 21. I need some caffine. adios.


EDIT TAKE THREE:::
AND THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF A FUCKING MILLIPEDE ON MY FUCKING ARM.